self-love Apr 27, 2020

or a clean shirt, or a new notebook, or fabulous hair

Oprah said something recently that stuck with me. Apparently rich people still sniff their workout shirts to see if they can wear them again (just like us!). She realised she was doing it one day and said to herself, “I deserve to wear a fresh, clean shirt. I’m worth it”.

Now, Oprah can afford to change her clothes every hour if she wants to, but it’s not about the shirt. It’s about treating yourself like you matter.

I told this story at my recent workshop, Uncover Your Brilliance, Manifest Your Ideal Life” because I utterly believe that great success comes down to self-worth. You show other people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself but you also send a very strong message to the Universe that you deserve and are ready for more.

After I told the audience this story, I went to refresh my cup of tea and as I was adding more hot water, I suddenly realised “I’m totally worth a fresh tea bag!”. Peppermint tea isn’t quite as nice the second time around. It sounds silly, but I actually teared up a little because I finally got the message for myself.

You’re worth it.
You deserve what ever you want to create in the world.
You matter.

I totally believe in not being wasteful, but many women take the whole self-sacrificing thing way too far. I should know – I once didn’t wash my hair for over six months.

That’s right.

I experimented with “no-poo”, which means you stop using conventional shampoos and let your hair naturally cleanse itself. You can use natural ingredients like baking soda, flax seeds and lemon but it takes a while for your hair to adjust. It was kind of …gross.

It started out being about the environment, but really, it was the ultimate in self-denial. After my hair adjusted itself, I decided to stop using anything and wash my hair with only water which started the process all over again. How much could I strip away, how much further could I go?

It wasn’t nice and it wasn’t pretty. But I was determined to stick it out for more than 6 months. Why? I don’t know. Being stubborn I guess and maybe deep down I didn’t believe I deserved to have an easy life.

So you might not have smelly hair, but here are some clues that you are treating yourself like a poor relation:

  • Only shopping in thrift stores when other people in your family get newer and nicer clothes because you feel bad about spending the money.
  • Trying to do something yourself (like dyeing your hair or tinting your own eyelashes) with disastrous results.
  • Saving your fancy beauty products “for best” or never using your favourite things like pretty tea cups or your nice stationery.
  • Keeping clothes, shoes or bags that are old, need repairs or are out of date because it’s better than nothing.

All of these things in themselves aren’t “bad” (I love buying vintage clothes!), but it’s how it makes you feel.

Perhaps you are already wildly successful in one area of your life so you would feel guilty if you were great at everything. Would would your friends think if you not only had money, but were really super healthy as well? Or had a great marriage and a successful business?

Who do you think you are Little Miss Perfect!?

Well, I’m here to tell you – you can have it all. No guilt and no sacrifice required. Just decide that you’re worth an amazing life.

But it starts with you. The Universe isn’t going to treat you like a V.I.P until you do.

Celebrate and anchor positive experiences

After my workshop, I knew I had to anchor the experience. To say to myself “well done babe”.

There’s this restaurant in town that I’ve been “saving” for our anniversary. I decided to go in by myself, order an expensive glass of champagne and some fancy snack and just soak up the experience.

As I said there, I mentally told the Universe. “I’m ready for more please”. I decided to make the experience a turning point, a mental and emotional shift into the next level of my life. I imagined myself coming back here regularly to celebrate.

Every self-nourishing action is another sign to the Universe that you’re ready. It could be as small as putting on moisturiser or as big as booking a stylist for a makeover. It’s all about how it makes you feel. Remember, good feelings attract good feelings. That’s how the Law of Attraction works.

Scared? Start with a fresh tea bag and then see how far you can take it!

You’ll see measurable results in the real world. Out of the blue, you might attract a new opportunity that will catapult you into a new path. But it’s not going to happen outside of yourself – the first step is deciding you’re worth it and then you’ll be proved right every time.

Tell me in the comments – what are 3 actions you’re going to take immediately to send the message LOUD AND CLEAR that you are worth more.


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